Hope to Apathy

24 10 2008

I have been so tired the last week or so – I went to my pcp and she did say my iron was a bit low so I will have to dose up on that. I have vacillated between hope and apathy regarding another try – hope that it could work and not caring if it does not work. I think the apathy is some sort of psychological defense mechanism…

My younger sister B is here this weekend with her baby – my niece – she is six months old and is the cutest, most active and amazingly babbling baby I have ever been around. My mother came with them. I am pretty close with B – she has been really supportive of my efforts to have a baby and has been there for each loss. I think she wanted to come down to make sure I was okay – she even asked if they should not come because she did not want it to make me feel worse. I do not have any feelings of jealousy this time – a few months ago after my first loss, it was brutal, I was so jealous. Now I am just happy for her and being around a baby when I am this tired almost makes me glad I do not have one yet…almost. My mother has never really been close to me or my sisters so I am definitely blase about her being here – not negative, just blase.

Along the way, I am continuing to try and eat my way out of the blues I am feeling – not really the best way to try and feel better! I am going to be a cooking fool this weekend – we are also going to go to a local farmer’s market to pick up some yummy pies.

I am looking forward to my appointment on Monday with my RE.




One response

24 10 2008

I’m glad to hear your update.

Do you know about Kimberly over at I’m a Smart One? You should check her out. She’s amazingly connected, has a heart of gold, makes me laugh and will you too. I promise. Leave her a comment, tell her I sent you.


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