Sad News

17 11 2008

My stepson M received really sad and horrific news yesterday. One of his friends he ran track with in high school – she was a year behind him and still in school – was killed in a car accident along with her boyfriend – they were both 17. M does not show a lot of emotion but my DH told me he was crying yesterday. I tried to comfort him as best I could as I lost my best friend in a car accident when we were 19 – her 9 year old brother died that day too. They were coming home from the mall – I was actually supposed to be with them but I had to go into work. That truly was one of the worst times in my life. I just remember feeling so incredibly angry and lost and sad. I kept thinking of my best friend’s parents and how they must have felt. I would get very angry when I would see people laughing and talking – I felt as though I would never laugh again. Her mother asked me to help pick out her clothes for the viewing and the funeral and I will never forget how her mother looked on those days. I tried to keep in touch with her mother but I think it was too hard for her to see me, to hear about me. She actually emailed me this past summer – it was the first time in 13 years that we had spoken – and wanted to me to know that she has thought about me often and wishes me well. My heart goes out to the parents of these young people – and I hope that M finds his way through his grief.

I really hate life sometimes and I am continually reminded that there are absolutely no guarantees in life, none. I could get a bfp on this, my third IVF. I could actually have a beta that doubles in 48 hours. I could actually see a heartbeat at or before 6 weeks. I could actually make it to 20 weeks. I could actually give birth to a live, healthy baby. But, these are not even close to being sure things. The capacity of the women I have come to know and cherish in blog land to keep trying, to keep hoping, to keep loving have inspired me and I have to say that had I not started blogging, I think I would have given up after IVF#2. If anything, the loss of my best friend and the loss of my two peanuts so early have taught me and continually teach me to be a better friend. I hope that I can be helpful to the women I have through this blog and I hope that I can be a good role model for M.

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3 responses

17 11 2008
April

😦 this sucks.

i totally agree. it’s hard. nothing is guarenteed. i wish it was.

sigh.

17 11 2008
Maria (MKC101103)

It’s always so awful to hear of kids dying too young.

I’m glad blogging has helped you, I know it was great “therapy” for me. It still is on a daily basis.

17 11 2008
Emily

That is terrible. I am sorry for your stepson, I am sorry for your losses.

HUGS

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