Still Waiting…

10 01 2009

for AF.  I am going for a massage appointment today and I ordered the meditation CD that JJ and Niki suggested.   Sigh.  Now it is just a waiting game.

I got a birth announcement for a friend I went to law school with yesterday.  Their baby is beautiful.  I am really, really happy for them, however, I felt bad because I was like “this woman is almost 40 and drank wine like it was water – how is this possible and I have lost two pregnancies”.  Okay, I felt worse than bad – I feel like a bitter hag for thinking this way.   I cannot wait for the day that I can just feel the happiness and not the envy and bitterness – I need to make this happen whether or not we have a baby.



5 responses

10 01 2009

I’m sorry you’re feeling low with your friend’s news. I have never figured how to make it easier for us. I do manage to smile and congratulate the person, but after that the conversation is basically over. 😦

Sending you AF vibes – hope she shows soon so you can get started!q

10 01 2009

don’t beat yourself up for not feeling what you deem appropriate for your friends news. It’s already bad enough that we get sour about it, we don’t need the added guilt. It will come in time that you’ll transition into feeling better when you hear birth announcements. But it may take a conscious effort of trying to feel more love, making peace… and then one day, when you least realize, your energy changes. That’s the way it happened to me at least. I still get sad sometimes because the births and pregnancies remind me of something I don’t have and desire, but I am now able to feel joy for my friends – even if it took me a long long time to get to this stage.
Hope that your AF shows up.

11 01 2009

I completely understand how you feel. I think we’ve all been there. I wish drinking wine like water would do the trick, huh? Hugs to you!

11 01 2009

Hey there – don’t kill yourself worrying you’re not being supportive enough. You said your congratulations to her, everything else is frosting.

Besides, I think you’re doing pretty good if you didn’t make the crack about drinking wine like water to her face.

Here’s hoping AF shows up soon. Still hoping we’ll be cycling together!

11 01 2009

Many times I think that when confronted with baby/pregnancy announcements. I think as look as we are supportive on the outside. No one said we had to win any awards….plus, a lot of the people I am confronted with shouldn’t even be allowed to have plants.

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