IVF Theft

22 01 2009

I met a friend at the local Y tonight for a fat burner class.  The motivation for this was the feeling of my thighs taking up more space than they are entitled to taking.  Plus my bbs, which are normally big, are reaching gargantuan proportions.  


So the fat burner class was really aerobics followed by some weight lifting.  I was glad my friend was as uncoordinated as I was – we almost tripped over each other, were completely out of step and we kept laughing – that was pretty fun.

So the weight lifting part – I had to use three pound dumbbells.  I was shaking so bad during the pushups.  

I am mortified – I am a young woman – I played three sports every year in high school – I used to spin every morning before work.

I do not care about my weight, the number per se.  I care about the fact that I have given up working out – using IVF as an excuse, not wanting to jar the embryos after the transfer, studies show that more than 4 hours of exercise..blah, blah, blah.

So I am pretty pissed at me and at IVF right now – I have let it take away exercise.  I guess if IVF works for you it is joy – but right now I hate it and I feel like IVF is nothing but a dirty thief!!!  

Sorry for the crazy rant – I am just really annoyed at myself for letting it get to this.
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10 responses

22 01 2009
mylifechronicles

Rant on girl… that could have been me writing the post. It is so true. IVF IS a big thief who stole my self-esteem, my fit body and my courage away. Last night, I got on the treadmill for the first time in 8 months and God oh God… I sucked… big time! I could not maintain a 12min/mile for more than 15 mins! I was huffing and puffing worse than a hungry dog. Utter disgust. The more I try different machines/routines, the more I realize how much I have been robbed!
God help us all! **sigh**

22 01 2009
Jill

Aw-that’s understandable. Those of us who’ve been through IVF can relate. IVF steals so much of you, but hang in there, you’ll make it through.

The class sounds really nice! Keep trying to go with your friend. I always did better when I had a friend counting on me to show up. Good luck!

22 01 2009
Nikki

It could be me too, writing this post. The jiggly thighs, the mushroom / muffin top forced shut jeans and stomach hanging out, big unattractive bbs – yup, that’s me.

I can fit into a couple of pairs of jeans. Thats it – I don’t fit into my work clothes anymore. That’s another part of the depression story!

And the sad part is, I know that if this IVF doesn’t work out, I won’t even be left with the motivation to work out. 😦

22 01 2009
Niki

I hear ya loug and clear girl! I despise what the IVF thief has taken from me too! You’re taking the first step at taking your body back from the IVF/IF robbers and I’m so proud of you for it! Let’s arrest these thieves!

22 01 2009
April

totally hear you. i about died when they weighed me at the clinic this am. they had never done that. and i.am.heavy. the heaviest i have ever been. and i’ve been working out and watching what i eat. but i blame ivf and the meds. i used to work out all of the time and stuff, but have been afraid to for the same reasons as you!!

22 01 2009
Emily

Amen! Good for you for taking the class!

22 01 2009
bb

I know exactly what you mean. I really don't want to even think about it. I always say well if it doesn't work I will lose 30 lbs, or I am not doing it now because then the next time we try I will be prego anyway. Yeah, that has really been working for me. Good for you to do something about it!! I need a friend to go with me too (<— would you look at that ANOTHER excuse ;-))

22 01 2009
kirke

Your class sounds fun! And it’s good to have a friend to go with!

I just signed up at the Y, but I haven’t gone yet. I’m trying to gather up the courage. I used to be a runner…but haven’t worked out in ages. Plus, if it’s not the hormones making me fat, it jut might be all the comfort food I’ve been ingesting in an effort to make myself feel better.

23 01 2009
Caroline

Going through IF/IVF can rob you of your fitness for sure.

26 01 2009
Clio

I feel the same. I was in a great moment, working out and all.. and stopped because of IVF. Now, of course, my pants don’t fit me and I’m working really hard to get my body back. I just feel cheated.
great rant!
enjoy exercising again. Get your energy back. That’s something you have control over.

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