Retrieval; Loneliness

9 03 2009

I was hoping for four and we got six – I am very, very happy with that number.  I had six follicles that could possibly hold eggs and in my past two retrievals there was not an egg in each follicle so six was the top that we could hope for today.   Thank you all so much for your well wishes and positive thinking – it really makes this process more bearable.


It really is all relative – there was another woman there today and they only got two – she was excited due to the fact that she was afraid they would get none. 


My doctor seemed to think that they all looked good – i.e. not overcooked!  I am hoping for three to transfer on day 3 – our fert rate has been 33-45 percent so 3 may be a long shot but I am hopeful.  I have a strange feeling that these eggs will be better quality due to the different protocol.  Poor Mr. M is sitting around with ice on his testicle – the first PESA basically annihilated his left one, the second PESA was no sweat but this one is feeling like the first…IVF, the gift that keeps on giving!!!!

So I ran into someone I know – he is also an atto.rney and I went to law school with him.  I saw him there on Saturday and his wife was the woman that was afraid they would get nothing.  We chatted all morning – until he had to go give his “speciman”. I felt really bad for him and got angry for both of us – there really is not a better way than this?????  I am really keeping my fingers crossed for them and hope that their two little eggies fertilize well.

I am really tired and cranky – but my abdomen feels much better than it did pre-retrieval – at least now.  I usually have severe bloating for at least a week and lovely discharge to go with it. 

Now on to the topic of loneliness – one of my dear blogging girlfriends is having a really, really hard time – they have been trying for much longer than we have and she has been really, really low – besides the typical counseling, antidepressants, etc. what are some other things that you all have done to fight the depression?  I too have experienced some highs and lows during this process and I have Mr. M, you all, my sisters and unfortunately, food can be my self medication as well as obsessive reading. That being said – the latter two things do not get me back out with the real world – I really do not want to do anything with anyone most days but I really make an effort for Mr. M and his son.  That being said, when the loneliness and depression get really bad – worse than I think what I have experienced, what do you do? 
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16 responses

9 03 2009
sprogblogger

So glad it was a good retrieval, and here’s hoping that Mr. M’s discomfort doesn’t last long. 6 follicles is fantastic – here’s hoping they ALL fertilize!

As for your friend – honestly, the best thing I’ve done since my first miscarriage was to get a dog. And not just any old dog, but an in-my-face affectionate dog. I’m thinking a cat would have worked, too. Or a goat. Having something to take me outside of myself that has needs – emotional & physical – that only I can fulfill, seems to be the only thing I've found that helps enough to mention. And it's hard to be sad while walking a dog, I've found – everything delights a puppy so! I hope she finds some peace. Better yet, I hope she gets pregnant soon. Babies for everybody!

I hope she feels better. There's nothing good about any of this, and it sucks to hit bottom and have no idea how to climb back up to "normal".

9 03 2009
Emily

6 is great! Hoping for a great fert report! Need to think on the other stuff….

9 03 2009
Caroline

Hi Lisa,

Firstly, congratulations on your retrieval! That is wonderful news and I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Reading your post I can totally relate to your feelings of anger and loneliness at times. Thankfully blogging really helps, so hugs to you my friend!
As for managing depression during IF, it is very tough. I have been there, and I know how isolating and lonely it can be. I think that distraction is good (getting out of the house, exercising, seeing a movie, going shopping etc).
I’m watching out for your next post.

9 03 2009
hopefulone

Congrats on your retrieval! now grow embies grow!

9 03 2009
Mo and Will

lisa,

congrats to you and your hubby for coming through your simultaneous retrievals.

glad they got six eggs – hoping this cycle is the one for both of us!

ok. back to bed now. feel like crap. happy crap. but still.

mo

9 03 2009
Soko's Journey to Parenthood

Yaa, glad to hear your egg retrieval went awesome. Think positive and just keep your brain as busy as possible with other things. I know, easier said than done :0) lol

I remember when we did our ET and they got 7, 6 were mature and 3 fertilized. The 3 that fertilized were awesome quality and were all transferred back on day 3. We are nor pregnant and going for our first us this Friday. So excited. Hoping to hear all is coming along well and also, we want to know how many we may be having because I have had no ill effects such as cramping spotting or anything. the whole transfer just went so smooth. Guess we’ll see.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers all goes well.

Tracy

9 03 2009
Soko's Journey to Parenthood

Yaa, glad to hear your egg retrieval went awesome. Think positive and just keep your brain as busy as possible with other things. I know, easier said than done :0) lol

I remember when we did our ET and they got 7, 6 were mature and 3 fertilized. The 3 that fertilized were awesome quality and were all transferred back on day 3. We are nor pregnant and going for our first us this Friday. So excited. Hoping to hear all is coming along well and also, we want to know how many we may be having because I have had no ill effects such as cramping spotting or anything. the whole transfer just went so smooth. Guess we’ll see.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers all goes well.

Tracy

9 03 2009
Alison

I’m glad to hear your ER went smoothly and I’ll keep you in my prayers for the fertilization of those eggies.

Depression? I feel like I could write a book! I’ve been fighting it since I started with migraines 13 years ago. Anitdepressants, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy was great . . . yoga, meditation, uh, did I say therapy? I sound like a mess but it all really has made a difference for me ESPECIALLY during IVF! I’ll keep your firend in my prayers, too. We can get through this all together – even through cyberspace. 😉

9 03 2009
kirke

Obsessive reading and snacks are my tools to feel better too.

So glad the retrieval went well! Yay for six eggs!!!! Hoping for a great fert report!!

9 03 2009
Nikki

Lisa – many many hugs and thanks to you. Thanks for reaching out to me and being there for me. I’ve been feeling so much love from you since yesterday.

Yay for the 6 eggies! I’m thinking strong fert thoughts for you, and can’t wait for your fert report tomorrow! Good luck!

And good luck to Mr. M – I hope he recovers quickly from his PESA procedure.

9 03 2009
What IF?

Lisa, thank you for stopping by my blog tonight, and leaving such a supportive comment. I really appreciate it. I’m glad your retrieval went well today, and I have fingers and toes crossed for a great fert report tomorrow. Take it easy, and rest up!

Poor Mr M, I hope he feels better soon. My Dh endured 16 needle sticks with PESA plus the dreaded “gun,” so my hat is off to the guys.

Unfortunately, I don’t have answers on the depression question as I’m struggling with being down in the dumps myself right now.

9 03 2009
Niki

Woo hoo on a great ER! I’m so happy to hear that you got 6 eggs. I’ll be looking forward to a great fert report!

Hmm, as for your friend I don’t really have any great advice. Blogging, therapy, and meds seemed to help me. Some days though nothing seems to help and I’m down in that dark place too. It’s shocking to hear me say it, but the longer I deal with IF the easier it is. I remember my first two years and am so happy I’m no longer there. I think it’s because I’m wiser, more assertive, and overall more knowledgeable now. IF sucks and your friend is lucky to have you there to try to lift her up.

((HUGS)) to you for being such an amazing, wonderful supporter for so many!

10 03 2009
Mtnhighmama

yay for 6! That is great! I’ll look forward to hearing that they fertilized!

10 03 2009
strongblonde

what a great number. i have high hopes for this cycle. 🙂

the blogosphere was what was most helpful for me…

10 03 2009
dreamyouremine

So glad to hear about your six! Can’t wait to see what is next.

As far as depression, I think sometimes it is ok to be depressed. It is acknowledging your true feelings and experiencing them, which is something we all need to work through to get to a better place. Blogging has helped me. Finding people who understand. I’ve struggled with trying to exercise or do things I enjoy–sometimes I just haven’t had the energy.

I agree though that the pets have a huge positive influence on my mood. They just give so much love, constant cuddling and you don’t have to explain, unlike humans who have such a hard time just being there and not trying to dig in and “fix” you.

When I was at my lowest, looking into adoption helped. Not everyone is interested and that is fine. But I think just looking at other possibilities helped and gave me some hope that there would be a different result someday.

10 03 2009
Clio

yeay to 6 eggs!
:))))))))
crossing my fingers for you, that you get three (or more) fertilized and beautiful embabies.

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