Transfer Story – Bi.zarre Baz.aar – Broken Bedpan

12 03 2009

Wow, today was very surreal and Murph.y’s Law certainly played a part in it.  I woke up really happy and excited (it is Mr. M’s birthday today too!!!  I thought that was going to be a good sign…) but really nauseous – probably the PIO at work.  So I drank my 32oz of water and we headed to the clinic.  My transfer was supposed to be at 9:00.  At 9:20 the u/s tech came in and said that it would be at least 15-20 more minutes – for some reason the transfer ahead of us was delayed.  So we waited and my bladder filled up even more.  By the time they came in – 9:50ish I was dying and I could not straighten my legs my bladder was so full.  So I had to go to the bathroom and fill up a cup and stop midstream twice.  No problem – I felt better, went back into the room and the u/s tech did not check my bladder again but said that should be enough – this comes into play later.  The RE comes in – Dr. A – not my regular RE – to discuss my embryos.  


My 6 cell grade B track star was an 8 cell grade B at 9:00 am.  Sometimes too much information is a bad thing – had I not known it was a 6 cell yesterday at 8:47am, I would not be worried that it is not over 8.  Had I just known it was 8 cells this morning, I would be more excited than I am.

One of my 2 cell A- was a 4 cell A-.  The RE did not seem worried about this – that plenty of babies come from 4 celled embryos and the 72 hour mark is not until 2:42 today – it could have been 6 cells by then, which is good.   I keep telling myself that 5 plus hours will make a big difference and I would be over the moon had the transfer been later – these are still the same embyros. 

My other 2 cell A- was a 5 cell A- and RE had same comments above.  

She said that they normally would not transfer more than 2 embryos to a 34 year old but due to our embies and my prior two losses, that she would be okay putting all three back today.  We already decided that we wanted all three put back so that worked for us.

This clinic seems to think our issues, i.e. low fert rate and lack of lots of good embies are due to Mr. M’s sperm – whatever, I cannot invest in that right now. 

So, transfer time.  I slide way, way down on the table – love that “further, no further” – and they put the speculum in and the really, really hot light on my viagna (thanks Murgdan, I will never be the same!).  The u/s tech then sees my bladder and says, you are still really full.  Well I thought nothing of it until the RE could not get the catheter containing my three sweeties past something in my cervix – I forget what it was – but they had to take the catheter back out, run my sweeties back to the incubator and put in a stilette.  They then got my sweeties back and finished the transfer – this felt like 10 years while my bladder was burning, the u/s wand pressing on my bladder and the hot light burning my viagna.  So not smooth and I wanted to freak but instead I calmly asked the RE if the back and forth could damage my embryos.  Her response was that of course they prefer it to go smoothly but that they have had other similar situations and that pregnancies result…sigh.  They did not say it was because my bladder was too full but I had two other transfers that were smooth as silk so that is my guess.  I cannot invest in that right now either, if this ends up being a bust, I can revisit all of this and deal with it later.  I just hope that it is not over before it begins.

So before the RE leaves, she was like I am sure you would like to use a bedpan – I had to lay there for another 30 minutes – and I said yes.  A nurse got me one – cheap plastic – and when I put it under me and sat up a bit, POP this loud sound occurred – I broke the freaking bedpan…So thankfully Mr. M (who was there the whole time supporting me) got me another one and I got some relief.  Of course you cannot totally wipe well after that so I had to lay in a little bit of my pee for the next 30 minutes…sigh…

Okay, so by this time I wanted to rip someone a new one.   Just as background, after my first loss, my MIL said, “We are not going to brood about this, are we?” and she has done and said some shitty things to me over the last eight years – so needless to say she is not my favorite person.  Okay – so I am on the table and 20 out of the 30 minutes has passed and Mr. M’s phone rings – it is his mother probably to wish him a happy birthday.  He looked like he was going to answer it, and I was like – “I do not want to hear any part of any conversation with your mother right now”.  I felt like such a bitch but I was relieved when Mr. M did not answer the phone.  I just would not be able to handle that – she keeps telling me just to keep my feet up and I should get pregnant…

So, the bottom line is that I am going to invest what emotions I can muster into loving my sweeties while they are with me – however short or long of a period that may be.  I appreciate everyone’s support – especially those of you who know that it is impossible to be positive and chipper all of the time and that I need this blog to vent and get it all out.
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22 responses

12 03 2009
Emily

What a crazy morning you had! Sorry it was not as smooth as you would have liked, but I am sure your embies are snuggling in as we speak! Enjoy bedrest and happy b-day Mr. M!

12 03 2009
JJ

Wow, an eventful transfer. I love that you’re focusing your emotions on your three sweeties. I’m rooting for them. Big hugs for you.

12 03 2009
Karin

Congrats Lisa!! I agree completely with your perspective, and the only thing you need to do now is relax, spoil yourself, and keep up with the positive thinking.

You did have me laughing at the bedpan story- I always think “this time, I will not pee in a bedpan”, and I always fail. have to pee SO BAD at that point!!!

Rest up lady!

12 03 2009
Nikki

I hope the fact that this transfer was so much more eventful than the others will ultimately mean the outcome will be so much more different than the others as well! Good luck with your 2ww – oh yeah, and no puppy dogs and cute butterflies in my life right now either. Vent away all you want, and screen all of your MIL’s calls. I get it! 🙂

Happy Birthday to Mr. M. Enjoy your bed rest and get as pampered as you can!!

12 03 2009
Niki

Lisa, I’ve been anxiously awaiting your post all morning! I’m so glad to hear that all three of your “sweeties” are back where they belong! I think it’s great that you are trying to invest your energy to one thing right now. It’s so hard not to let ourselves invest in all the other crap that goes on around us during our cycles. I will keep thinking positive thoughts and will cross my fingers that your sweeties start snuggling in for the long haul over the next week!

12 03 2009
Soko's Journey to Parenthood

Just imagine the story you will have to share some day. The bed pan cracked me up.

You had quite the journey for sure. I am praying for you that all goes well this time. Just stay on bed rest for as long as you can, because seriously, I think that is the key sometimes. I was bed rest for 3 1/2 days per my husband and so far so good.

I am sending lots of BABY DUST your way. Get some rest and keep us posted.

Tracy

12 03 2009
Soko's Journey to Parenthood

Just imagine the story you will have to share some day. The bed pan cracked me up.

You had quite the journey for sure. I am praying for you that all goes well this time. Just stay on bed rest for as long as you can, because seriously, I think that is the key sometimes. I was bed rest for 3 1/2 days per my husband and so far so good.

I am sending lots of BABY DUST your way. Get some rest and keep us posted.

Tracy

12 03 2009
Just me

OMG. When my MIL found out we were having fertility testing she told my husband that maybe we should try having me stand on my head after we have sex. And she was serious.

*sigh*

Sorry your transfer was so crazy and uncomfortable! Keeping my fingers crossed for a positive outcome!!!

12 03 2009
betsy

Well, I am hopeful and excited. I hope that the bumpy procedure leads to smooth roads ahead. Just snuggle in, only answer calls from me and watch 30 or so movies over the next 4 days! Watch some oldies like Princess Bride, Goonies, and Porky’s(ha ha). Lots of love, and I hear that there is a pattern of positive waves coming in from the northeast!

12 03 2009
theworms

Wow, what a crazy day, so glad the little ones are back where they belong and snuggling in tight.
I hope that this is your sticky BFP.
GL

12 03 2009
Andrea

Thanks for your comment. I’m sorry, but I was cracking up during your bedpan story. You poor thing! Anyway, I am so hoping your little rock stars snuggle in tight!

12 03 2009
sprogblogger

Oh, I’m hoping that they all nestle in tight. Sending baby-thoughts your way!

12 03 2009
Mo and Will

Lisa

sending lots of positive thoughts your way. hoping this cycle is the one!!! All my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Mo

12 03 2009
Alison

I’m so glad I’m not the only one that has had the full-bladder/bedpan issue! I can laugh now but then I wanted to tear someone’s head off! I feel your pain – literally . . . congrats on the great looking embies and I wish you an incredilble 2ww. I’ll keep praying for you – stay positive.

Hugs,
Ali

12 03 2009
The Vigil Family

You poor thing!! It was great that you stayed calm..not like you (we)have a choice. We will do anything!! ANYTHING!!
Vent away!! It is great to have an outlet. Take the next few days and just enjoy the pampering!!
Will be praying for your 3 little eggo’s!!
Diane

12 03 2009
kirke

What a crazy day! I laughed outloud when you broke the bedpan 🙂 That would totally happen to me.

You deserve a special treat tonight….and I think the sweeties would enjoy it too. They all three sound great!!

12 03 2009
Amy

What a day for you..get some yummy COMFORT food and keep your butt in bed sister! Keep those good thoughts going and I will keep mine headed your way! Love Lots!

12 03 2009
'Murgdan'

Yikes…what an exciting transfer! And that whole viagna thing ruined it for me too…
🙂

12 03 2009
'Murgdan'

Yikes…what an exciting transfer! And that whole viagna thing ruined it for me too…
🙂

13 03 2009
Caroline

Hey Lisa,
What a crazy transfer story. My friend had a rough transfer, and it turned out to be her BFP.

I’m glad that DH didn’t answer the phone call from your MIL. Right now this is your time, to rest and relax. I hope that you get a chance to spoil yourself, and vent all you like.

13 03 2009
Maria (MKC101103)

I’m so sorry your ET wasn’t as perfect as hoped. But, I have to tell you that EJ is a result of the only embie that I ever had transferred that was not perfect on transfer day. Just sayin 🙂

13 03 2009
Clio

Lisa, your report cracked me up! especially the viagna part! I kept remembering Murgdan’s post.
sorry you had to be so uncomfortable during transfer.
But you are totally right regarding investing your emotions in your babies. No time and energy to be wasted on underserving people, situations, etc.
and yes, don’t worry about the back and forth during transfer. It may all work out in the end.big hugs!!!

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