4dp3dt of Sweetness (and vent about pregnant friend at work)

16 03 2009

AAAHHHHH, I am so glad to be home from work.  Today lasted for a very long time – I think everyday will last forever until I know whether I am pregnant or not.   I felt twitchy in my uterine area again today with some mild cramping – like I said before, could just be the PIO.  I know that it is the PIO that is making (1) my breasts feel like red hot molten lava, (2) my stomach huge and bloated and (3) me feel exhausted.  I also felt dizzy a few times today, like I was going to faint.  Not sure though, since I have never fainted!


So, before I get to the sweet things, I need to vent.  My dearest friend at work (the one who found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago) and I were in the elevator today. She was scraping something white off of her coat – it looked like bird poop and I was like, “eewww, is that bird poop” and she was like, “no, eww, come on you are talking to a PREGNANT WOMAN, I am going to puke.”  There was a stranger in the elevator and it made me feel uncomfortable and I thought it was pretty obnoxious.  But was it, or is that me being a bitter, infertile, uterus of death, wretched hag?  She then went on and on about her stomach being bloated, maternity clothes, etc.  I just could not take it today and I feel really bad.  She has been very sweet to me – she was going to wait to tell a bunch of people at work until I found out about this cycle and I have reassured her over and over that I am okay with it.  I truly am – that is the hardest part – I am very happy for her but it just stung me so badly today and then I felt guilty for feeling that way because she is sweet and I do love her and I AM happy for her.   Finally, I am so fat that I had to leave my pants unbuttoned under my shirt at work and I felt like my love handles were going to rip out the back of my shirt…sigh…

So now for the sweet things about today:

1)  Sleeping in until 7:45am.

2) Pasta with butter, garlic, parsley and parmesan cheese.

3) Blackberry shampoo.

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8 responses

16 03 2009
Caroline

Hey Lisa,
I totally understand about your reaction to your pregnant friend at work. When my friends are pregnant I am happy for them, but I don’t like listening to them discuss their pregnancies, or complain about their symptoms. It stings too much. I just smile and change the subject. So no, I don’t think you were overreacting at all, you were being completely normal.
Hang in there! You are doing a great job!

16 03 2009
Darya

I’m with you on this waiting nonsense. I hate it!!!! Progesterone sucks. I have the same symptoms and I’ve gained so much weight from all of the IF related drugs the last year or so. What I try to tell myself though is that this is nothing compared to the gain I’m going to get when I’m pregnant so it’s good practice. 😉

As for your friend. That’s hard. I’m sure she is a wonderful person and doesn’t mean any harm but fertiles are ignorant of what we go through so we can’t really blame them too much. (((HUGS)))

16 03 2009
Clio

Blackberry shampoo? wow, that sounds delicious!
sorry that you had to go through that with your friend. it is a little over to be talking on and on about stuff like that, even after you said you were ok with it. Not sensible and polite of her. don’t feel guilty.

16 03 2009
MamaSoon

where did you get blackberry shampoo? Sounds so yummy!!

I hope this is your time…

16 03 2009
Emily

Sorry for the elevator experience! I got a laugh out of the unbuttoned pants – boy have I been there!!
Love your sweet things – dinner sounds YUM-O!

16 03 2009
kirke

Ooooh….blackberry shampoo sounds delic….I love your daily sweetness….

I completely understand what you are talking about regarding your work friend. Besides bird poop is disgusting no matter what….it’s not like it’s especially disgusting to pregant people.

16 03 2009
Darya

I just accidentally commented on your previous post. Just wanted to make sure you get it.

Stay positive. If you are having the same symptoms as the other times you’ve gotten a BFP, then think THIS IS A BFP!!! If it’s a bfn and I really really hope it’s not, you won’t be any less upsent if you protect yourself now. You’ve been through enough. Enjoy the PUPO phase.

17 03 2009
hopefulone

Hey!

almost half way through this 2ww..++

Love hearing your sweet things– I think that list is going to increase daily!

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