7dp3dt of Sweetness – Spotting and a False Positive

19 03 2009

I left work early – I had bright, red spotting at around 1:00ish.  I have gurglings in my stomach again with some sharp, stabbing cramping – like AF is going to show up any minute. This is how I felt last time and I ended up getting a bfp on 8dp3dt after I started spotting on 6dp3dt.  But, as we all know, the endings of that and my first story – with spotting beginning after my bfp but before my beta – are not good.  I am almost tempted not to pee on a stick, that way if it is another early loss, I really do not want to know about it but I certainly do not want to find out from my RE’s office, so yes, loyal peeing women, I will continue to pee.   I cannot believe I have continued to volunteer for this shit.  It is like ground.hog’s day the movie and I want it to stop.


I am trying not to hit the panic button – I know, it is only 10dpo technically and implantation can happen until day 12dpo (or so I am told), lots of women have implantation spotting or other spotting that is red and go on to have a heathy pregnancy (or so I have heard) but SHIT I was really hoping this time would be different.  I feel like my body wants to have a big, crazy period.

I also got a false very, very, very faint positive on a Clear Blue today – it is because I was double-fisting it with a FRER and there was not enough pee on it – the control line never came up.  I then looked at peeonastick.com and they said that Clear Blue gets a TON of false positives and not to use them –  I am only sharing this so that other avid peeing people like myself are forewarned.  The FRER was negative.  I cannot even invest in that right now.

I am getting crushed at work so I have to work while I am home – I am going to try and do it in bed.

The sweet things in my life today are (I am hanging on to them for dear life):

1) Mr. M – hurts so badly for me and wishes he could take it all away.  I told him he could if he would just go out and buy me a baby already…he declined.

2) My cat Nando is right here in bed with me while I type.

3) My new Ka.te Spa.de sunglasses from Cost.co – hid my ugly cry face on the way home.

4) My bed is very comfy and I bought really nice sheets for it – I love being in it.

5) My sister Betsy – I talked to her on the phone today and for once she did not lecture me once. Love you Betsy!!!!

6) All of you – I feel better already.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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14 responses

19 03 2009
Donna

I’ll be thinking about you! You are handling the stress very, very well!!!

19 03 2009
hopefulone

the spotting is a good sign…

I know it must be so hard and emotionally draining to get through everyday..

I always thought it is not a 2ww, cause after that there is another
2ww. too..

I have a good feeling for you!

stay away from the blue dye tests they are teasers… I had many false pos on those..

I always wished I would sleep through the 10 days and wake up with ms.

hugs
T

19 03 2009
Emily

Hmmm!!! I am not gonna buy into the false positive thing right now, nor the BFN. I am holding out hope that this is some implantation spotting and it was an early BFP! Sending tons of good vibes!!!! HUGS

19 03 2009
Clio

holding our hope for you.
hang in there!
I love the name of your cat, by the way.
🙂

19 03 2009
Darya

I’m holding out hope for you girl!!! Just because your bfps didn’t end up well last time doesn’t mean something bad will happen this time (do I sound like a crim law prof?). Seriously, try to remember that most people who deliver healthy babies have a ton of spotting throughout including a lot during the first month. I can’t tell you how many fertiles have said to me how they didn’t even know they were pregnant the first month because they got their period. ((HUGS))

19 03 2009
Nikki

The spotting is definitely a good sign. I don’t know if you read Shelby’s blog at dochaschronicles.blogspot – she had similar spotting and then got a BFP, and when she told her RE, the RE said she likes to hear spotting stories because those pregnancies usually turn out strong (or something to that effect)

Good luck!

19 03 2009
kirke

You are doing such a good job remaining upbeat! Sincerely, I love the lists of positives every day….

I like Nikki’s note and the idea of a strong pregancy!!

19 03 2009
What IF?

The false +/- on the pee sticks are the worst. I’ve tortured myself too, and started bleeding 3dp5dt. I really hope AF stays the heck away from you for 9 months, and that it’s just implantation spotting. As if the 2WW isn’t nerve wracking enough. Hang in there!

Thanks for the sweet comments you’ve left on my blog, and of course, letting me know I’m not crazy with getting more Gonal-F out of the pen.

19 03 2009
momsoon

I know how crazy these days- are Ugggghhhhhhh!!! If only they could invent the ‘off switch’ on the brain.
Thinking and holding onto all the things you love def works for me.
Rest up.
I will be thinking about you and sending prayers your way!!!!

19 03 2009
mylifechronicles

Oh Lisa… I am holding onto hope for you and want to say that the spotting is a good sign! ((HUGS))

19 03 2009
dreamyouremine

Hi Lisa,
10 dpo is still really early. I never get a BFP until 12 dpo. So I have lots of hope that this will be your month! But that 2ww can drive anyone absolutely mad, especially given what you’ve had to go through to get here. Thinking of you.

19 03 2009
Caroline

Hang in there Lisa. You are doing a great job!

19 03 2009
dreamsandfalsealarms

Dude! If you’re gonna double fist it, you gotta pee in a cup!

20 03 2009
Just me

peeonastick.com? I didn’t even know there was such a thing! The things I learn from you ladies. 😉

It’s hard not to compare each cycles to our experiences the cycles before, but remember that even a woman who has had 10 full term pregnancies (I’m making up this specific person, but in theory…) can have differences in each pregnancy.

Hang in there!!!

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