7dpiui – Self Improvement

17 04 2009

Many of you have probably heard of Emily’s bfp – yay!!!  

*DISCLAIMER* I think it is too early to be posting about symptoms – especially earlier – this is for my own tracking purposes!!!*

Finally – 1/2 way through the 2ww.  I really do not want to read too much into what I am feeling – I am going to be crushed somewhat if it is a negative this time but I would like to try and keep my expectations realistic.  Speaking of being crushed, pregnant women never used to bother me – all through IVFs 1, 2 and maybe part of 3 and 3.5 – it was okay, just a fleeting moment of jealousy but it was okay.  I had a meeting at work yesterday – one of the attendees was a woman and we are pretty friendly – and I swear, I thought to myself, at least she is not pregnant.  I sit down to chat with her – after I ask her how she is, she tells me that she is pregnant and it is 3.5 mos.  I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.  I congratulated her – I am happy for her – but so, so sad for me.  I am so angry with myself that I feel this way – this is a fertile world, I live in it and these women that I know and love and cherish deserve my support and happiness.  I need to work on that.

So, my “symptoms” yesterday included AF type cramps in the afternoon, tingly bbs and sharp, shooting cramps every now and then.  I am having all of those this morning – my bbs are now tingly because I just squeezed them to see if they are sore :feeling stupid:  All of this may be getting ready for AF – I have never paid attention to what I felt during a natural cycle and I refuse to read too much into this.  I was really tired last night – but I think that is because of my cold, which is finally getting better.  

I promised myself that I would act normally this cycle – which includes sex – which I banned in all of my IVF 2wws.  I was in a very, very loving mood last night – so I acted on it with Mr. M.  I have been having a hard time sleeping and I slept much, much better afterwards!  I am trying not to scare myself into thinking I ruined any chance that this may work – everything I have read about IUI is that it is okay to have sex and the big O after the IUI.

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9 responses

17 04 2009
Just me

I think it’s totally fine! All the stuff they say you’re “supposed” to or “not supposed” to do… One of the things is that you are “supposed” to be rested and relaxed. Having couple time with Mr. M is definitely going to help you to be relaxed, and clearly sex helped you to be more rested. 😉 Go with it!

I feel the same way when I hear someone else I know is pregnant. I hate that I can’t JUST be happy for them. That there is that twinge of jealousy and sadness. 😦

I hope this cycle is a success!!!

17 04 2009
caroline

Hey sweetie,

Wow – I can’t believe you are halfway through the 2ww already. I think that having a bit of love with your husbie can only be a good thing.

I know how you feel about being sad when other women announce their pregnancies. I think you are doing a great job of hanging in there.

Hugs,
C xx

17 04 2009
emily

I can’t believe I am just getting my heiny over here to comment! You have been an amazing cheerleader for me and so many others! Thank you for the supportive comments and the “shout-out”! You rock 🙂

I am so hoping this IUI is it for you! Don’t feel bad for symptom obsessing – it’s half the fun!!! GL!

17 04 2009
Ashley

I’m glad you’re not denying yourself during the 2WW 🙂
I hope the second half zooms by and that you get that well deserved ending!!
I still have a hard time hearing about other people’s pregnancies. Sigh. It makes me feel bad, but hey, we’re only human, right?

17 04 2009
Sue

I think it is great that you and your DH were able to have some loving couple time together. That just seems so unnatural about IVF- we feel like we are the only 2 people in the world who are trying to get pregnant but not allowed to have sex! I think it can only help. With one of my Chlomid IUI’s, my RE said we (DH and I, lol, this sounded like RE was propositioning me!) should have sexual relations that night and any time we feel like it – he said it is actually good for our chances of getting pregnant!

So far so good! I really hope this is it! Oh, and I hate that I feel the same way when I see pregnant women. It kills me that I even have that one second of sadness for myself. I try not to beat myself up over it, but I don’t like that I do that.

17 04 2009
mtnhighmama

Not commenting much, but keeping you in my thoughts!
love, adrienne

17 04 2009
Just Me

I have heard that oing is a positive thing for o natural.

I check here everyday for your updates and am cheering you on…

I am a GS and you know I get ugg feeling when everyone says they are pregnant I now have 4 co-workers who are due within 4 weeks of when I was…

17 04 2009
Nikki

I’m sorry you got blindsided by your work friend’s pregnancy. But I do hope that you will be joining her very very soon – as soon as next week! And yay, you’re half way through your 2ww already!!

18 04 2009
noswimmers

Ugh, that’s so hard when you feel you need to be happy for someone else’s pregnancy…especially when you’re knee-deep in shit yourself. It’s totally normal to feel that way.

Don’t worry about the sex…I’ve actually heard that the big O can help with implantation. 🙂

Are you going to POAS? When is your beta?

Eeek…getting closer!

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