My Ticker is Going Up (as soon as I learn how to do it – I did but had to change my format)

12 07 2009

10dpivi and 9dpiui:  VFP at 7:30 this morning.  *update – the one I took at 3:00 was an even fainter positive but the line is there – I did not see it last night*  Yes!!!!!  AND I HAVE NOT HAD ANY SPOTTING.  NONE.  The last few positives have been accompanied by bleeding.  I will say that there may have been a tiny speck of brown one day and a tiny speck of red another but they were so, so tiny and I am using those supps that I really just ignored them.  I actually got nervous because I thought I would have implantation spotting, which is what I thought I was having with all of my losses save the first, and I really had nothing.  This. could. be. it.  

I will try to post a picture later *updated – it is below* – the line is so, so faint.  I am simultaneously in shock and not in shock.  I posted all of my symptoms below – I was too embarrassed to post them as the days passed, I thought, “What if I am not pregnant, I will seem like a crazy person!” – the below just seemed too crazy, I HAD TO be pregnant.  So, yes, I am pregnant, I am pregnant, I am pregnant.  I am going to keep that promise I made to myself – I am going to enjoy every single second.  Every single one.  I am going to put my ticker up, even if my world crumbles and I have to take it down tomorrow.  I am going to buy a bella band, although with how I have been feeling I may lose weight.  I still have the worst metal mouth.  I woke Mr. M up to tell him – he is so happy, he hugged and squeezed me and was just so happy.  I am going to beg for every symptom and appreciate it when I have them.  I am going to try not to complain one bit about m/s.

I have definitively felt pregnant since 7dpiui.  I wonder if I am pregnant with an egg(s) that was fertilized by the IVI or the IUI?  Hmmm, this is so exciting!!!!  I am going to call my new RE’s office and see how they handle positive hpts and if they can squeeze me in for some early beta madness – I will beg, especially based on my early loss history but if they do not – I am going to enjoy every single minute.  *update – they called back – I did not beg – and the nurse was like – we don’t test until 13 days after the procedure – and made an appointment for Friday.  She was nice but she was like – sometimes those kits give false positives but that she hoped it was right…I was nice too and told her that they have been accurate for me in the past.*

Okay, I will let a little fear slip in – I am scared.  I have a few rumblings in my stomach that I have always associated with my miscarriages.  I am scared since I felt sicker a few days ago (could be a vanishing twin, could be nothing).  I am scared but I will try not to let that win.

Okay, my symptoms from the last few days:

7dpivi and 6dpiui:   My hopes are going up.  I had a horrid, metallic taste in my mouth all day – so bad, that I in fact asked a summ.er in.tern to get me gum during a court case this morning – that is psychotic for me to do – I never, ever ask anyone to do errands like that for me but I could not leave and it was awful – still is, like I am munching on pennies and nickels.  Smells starting to bother me.  Nips burning a bit.  Had a wave of crazy nausea before lunch, which was at a fancy steakhouse but I could not think about ordering steak and I barely ate my entree.  Had some AF cramping.  Had a few waves of dizziness at night.  Just thinking about the pizza my DH got made me want to run and hide. Yeah, my hopes are up – please do not let them be crushed.  Please do not let my hopeful mind be playing tricks on me.  Okay, I went to eat some chip.s ahoy cookies with some milk – I took two sips of the milk – the milk was sour – I ate it for breakfast too in cereal probably not that much and it tasted fine…could that have caused my nausea????  I am such a freak.

8dpivi and 7dpiui:  Okay, since I felt like a freak for having the above symptoms so early, I consulted Dr. Google and many of them can be explained by higher levels of progesterone and estrogen – which are all good signs for a potential pregnancy.  I will say that I had a fear that there was an army implanting in my uterus.  So, this morning – I am pretty nauseous – I woke up at 5:00 feeling nauseated.  My nips also feel a bit sensitive.  Minor cramping.  Puh-lease let this be it.  I gagged and threw up a bit while brushing my teeth – before I get excited – it may be from the sour milk yesterday…can you imagine if I am sick from sour milk?????  Or if there is salmonella now racing through my body, killing or maiming any potential life?  As you can guess, I googled the shit out of sour milk and all sources say it is fine – like sour cream and yogurt.  So I am not freaking out as  much but not going to read too much into my symptoms now…I felt nauseous throughout the day.  I had an event I had to go to – we had to do some fast walking and about 20 seconds of running – I started to get cramps like AF was coming.  I went to the bathroom to check for blood – I was sure it was going to be there – and there was nothing.  I was very, very tired all day as well.

9dpivi and 8dpiui:  Well, I tested this morning – BFN – so on the one hand I was a bit bummed, even though I intellectually know it is too damn early for most women to get a bfp and my earliest was 10dpiui after my first natural iui.  On the other hand, I am happy it was a bfn, there is a lesser chance of trips or quads!!!   I am a bit nauseous this morning , it does not feel as bad as it did yesterday but it is still there and smells are still bothering me, especially the cheese I give my dogs in the morning.  My nips are very sensitive.  I made Mr. M look at my girls – without telling him what to ask for – and he said that he thought my nips looked darker – they do – just very, very, very slightly.  Wow.  This. could. be. it.  If I am not pregnant, I need my head examined.  I thought that the past few days like, why am I feeling all of this stuff so early?  My mouth still tastes like metal but seems lesser than yesterday.  I am freaking out and thinking that this is going to be another early miscarriage and that I am doomed.  I had some twitches in the ute last night and some cramping on my right and my lower back this morning.  

I went to work – stopped at a drive-in coffee place for a raspberry italian soda (major craving) and literally gagged in my car when they opened the window and I smelled all of the coffee.  WOW.  Sprogger – you may understand the craziness of this as I think we share the obsession of coffee – it. made. me. gag.  wow.  I got to work and the metal taste in my mouth was back with a vengeance.  I then talked to my little sister – she too feels pregnancy symptoms very early and told me that her nausea came and went and that is normal.  Made me feel much better.  I felt nauseous and tired all day at work.  I came home, craving sugar, picked up an apple pie and ate it with ice cream.  YUM!!!  I have been doing a lot of mouth breathing as everything stinks – especially mr. m’s cool ran.ch dor.itos.  I am going to eat steamed veggies, chicken and shrimp tonight for dinner.  I am really hoping for a bfp tomorrow morning.  Okay, I ate and had to focus on not throwing it up.  I did not eat much so it is now 9:30 and I had a lean cuisine pizza – I was craving chicken fried rice but Mr. M ate all of it and I wanted to rip his head off.  Love hormones.  So now I am feeling a bit nauseated.  Please let this be it.

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22 responses

12 07 2009
JJ

OMG, woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited for you! This really is it for you I think! Those symptoms are pretty compelling! Congrats!

12 07 2009
sprogblogger

WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Oh Lisa, I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes, I’m so happy for you!

SO. DAMNED. HAPPY!!!!!

Congratulations!

And of course I’ll help you put up a ticker. Couldn’t be easier. Find the site whose ticker you want to use. I used babystrology.com because I like the scary animation, but there are a ton of them out there – search “pregnancy ticker” or “due date ticker” or some such & check out their artwork. Everything from cutesy to 3-d ultrasound pictures. You’ll have to personalize it on your site with your “name” and due dates. Then there will be a section of code that their site will create for you. Copy it.

Then in your WP admin site, do you have a section for widgets? Make up a new text box and copy the ticker code into it. Simple as pie. If it’s not working, email me with your phone number & we’ll figure it out over a phone line instead of an Internets line.

You’re having a baby, sweetie! And I could not be any happier than I am right now, reading this! We’re gonna be pregnant together! YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

12 07 2009
Michele

congrats!!!

12 07 2009
musicmakermomma

Congratulations! No one would think you are a crazy person – so post whatever comes to mind. Glad you decided to put it all up now. Good luck – waiting for big beta numbers!

12 07 2009
Niki

Lisa, get that ticker up girl because you are pregnant!! 😀 CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been saying a little chant (I don’t really pray) every night for you that went “Let Lisa be pregnant, let Lisa be pregnant…” I am so happy for you and will now start chanting “let Lisa’s pregnancy stick …” I’m saying this one for myself, so I’ll add you to it.

I understand being scared, but wanting to focus on the positives. It’s hard not to be somewhat scared with a history of IF and loss and honestly if you weren’t a little scared I’d be worried about you. It’s a delicate balance to maintain hope in the face of fear, but I have no doubt that you can do it!

I’ll have to check in on you from Alaska on Friday to hear the beta results. I’m hoping for a nice, strong number! Many congrats to you!!!

12 07 2009
PJ

That’s so AWESOME!!! Yay! I know if I ever get another positive I will make them test me every other damn day until I see that heartbeat!!!

12 07 2009
bellaandherfella

Oh, sweetie, I’m so excited for you! I am hoping beyond hope that this is your sticky baby!!!! Can’t wait for some betas!!! WooohooooO!!!

12 07 2009
Sarah

stickstickstickstick!

12 07 2009
K

Wow…this is just fabulous, great, awesome news! Yay yay yay for you! Sounds like you were pretty much right on with your symptom analysis, which BTW, was fairly entertaining. 😉 Looking forward to your beta…

12 07 2009
echloe

Yay!!!!!!!! This news just made my day. I’m so excited for you hun.

12 07 2009
mekate

YAY LISA!

It is what I was hoping for for you!

Happy happy happy positive
I am so excited for you and so deliriously happy–
congratulations, I had a good feeling about this cycle for you and I LOVE being right.
xoxox
happyKatae

12 07 2009
agplatters

So incredibly happy for you! Get lots of rest this weekend before you have to head back to the office. One thing that really helped me in the beginning after all the losses was a meditation CD that was about pregnancy. It is a really scary time and it feels much better to be positive, but don’t freak out about those moments when fear sets in. Lots of love!

12 07 2009
Sue

Great news! I am so excited for you! Don’t worry about the beta- it is just a number…you are still pregnant with it or without it:-) So, go buy a TON of hpts and get busy looking at lines and smiling:-)

12 07 2009
Kate

Wow, I see the line, and it’s way early!
I’m still trying to convince myself I have symptoms at over 6wks. Had one day with a little stronger sense of smell. I wish I were feeling more, really.

12 07 2009
Niki

I LOVE the ticker! 🙂

12 07 2009
noswimmers

Yayyyyyyyy!! That’s so exciting!! Love hearing about the symptoms. Can’t wait to hear as you progress!!

12 07 2009
Caroline

I have been thinking of you, and am so incredibly thrilled for you! YAY!!!! Congratulations on this wonderful news!!! Enjoy this fantastic feeling!! Huge hugs to you…xxxx

12 07 2009
sprogblogger

Love the ticker & the new look, too!
WOOHOO!!!

12 07 2009
Leah

Horray! I’m so so so so so thrilled for you!!

12 07 2009
Ashley

YIPPPEEEEEE!!! This is so exciting! All those symptoms, the line, the no spotting–I think this.is.IT!

12 07 2009
emily

Oh my goodness!!! Congrats this is so exciting. Please oh please let this be your sticky miracle!

13 07 2009
Nikki

This is awesome!!! Congratulations, and Oh My GOD I can’t wait till your beta! This is it!!! (((HUGS)))!!!!

CONGRATS!!

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