7 Weeks Pregnant Today

7 08 2009

I woke up thinking about Mo and Will.  I am deeply, deeply saddened and disturbed.  I just cannot comprehend what has happened.  Recurrent miscarriage.  Recurrent miscarriage takes so much away – joy, hope, bliss – at least it has for me.  Recurrent miscarriage rules my life some days – thinking about it, fearing it, feeling like it is inevitable.  Recurrent miscarriage has created an overwhelming, bubbling to the surface, terror.  I am so, so sorry Mo & Will.

I also woke up thinking of my Sprouts – I looked at their pictures again – they are turning into little babies, so so quickly.  I want to do right by them – I want to regain that joy, that hope, that bliss.  For them.  They deserve it.  But – some days it is enough to just make it through the fear – that is doing right by them too.  

So, my 7 week update is for them – Sprouts – I am really excited about you.  They are about the size of blueberries.  Okay – some wonder crept in – two blueberries inside of me, with (hopefully) beating hearts and little paddles for arms and legs.  I am in love.

How your baby’s growing:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you’re daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that’s the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long,about the size of a blueberry.

If you could see inside your womb, you’d spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby’s brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby’s growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.

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10 responses

7 08 2009
sprogblogger

Hurrah for blueberries! And if you’re a baby book person, check out Neil Gaiman’s Blueberry Girl. The illustrations are Charles Vess – gorgeous – and the poem is simply lovely. I have a copy because I couldn’t bear not to buy a child’s book that was so beautiful. I figure that if I don’t have a daughter to give it to, then I’ll give it to someone else’s daughter! And yeah, sometimes just getting through the day is victory enough. Joy is good, but not always possible. Try to be gentle with your fearful self. You’re in my thoughts.

7 08 2009
echloe

I’m glad your sprouts our doing well. Sprout is the name my BIL and SIL named their son when he was gestating. I think it is a good choice.

7 08 2009
peeveme

The 2st trimester is so hard both physically and emotionally. All you can do is try to stay sane (and get as many u/s as they will allow). Thinking of you and the sprouts.

7 08 2009
Ashley

I hear you on Mo and Will. It’s just so damned unfair.

I think you’re right, too, that some days just getting through is doing right by your babies. I wish for you some happiness and bliss and lightness, and I do think that is coming.

7 08 2009
Kate

I avoid reading “your baby this week” because it hurts too much so I skipped that part, but yes recurrent miscarriage is horrendous and its awful what Mo and Will had to go through, no words to really capture how awful it is. It’s so hard to get pregnant for many of us that getting there is a huge feat, but then we can’t be happy… we have to sit and just worry wondering when the other shoe will drop. By the time yo’ure in the multiples of miscarriage loss, no matter what nayone says on your subsequent pregnancies, you will always know shoes drp and you will never fully enjoy your pregnancy. I think sadly there’s no way around it.

7 08 2009
Sarah

sigh. Sad sigh. Happy sigh for you, and hoping for more happy sighs in your direction.

7 08 2009
lillyshephard

i’m so glad i finally clicked on your blog today…i am also newly pregnant (again) with a history of recurrent pregnancy loss, so it is a comfort for me to read your thoughts, fears, excitements, etc. i relate to so much of what you’ve been writing about.

congrats on your twins with two beautiful, beating hearts! i also wanted to tell you a tip my acupuncturist told me about the nausea…she said if we keep our blood sugar up, the nausea will go way down…so it’s good to eat something every two hours during the day and also to have a nibble if you wake up during the night and feel a bit hungry. when i stick to this, i feel a lot better…i can’t imagine the intensity of the symptoms you’re feeling with twins! maybe it would help you to keep a constant flow of food going… i don’t know.:) also, you inspired me to get some comfy pants to celebrate making it past 5 weeks! thanks.

i hope you’ll check out my blog if you feel like it sometime: http://www.thehuntformyfertility.wordpress.com

8 08 2009
iamstacey

Hey, InsideOut! Yay for two healthy blueberries! Sending good vibes to the three of you!

8 08 2009
Catherine

Thinking of you and your two beautiful blueberries. Hurrah for them and their paddles. It is absolutely mind-blowing.
You may never regain that innocence after what you have endured. You may never regain that joy, that bliss. But those two blueberries are loved and loved. I think that is the most important thing although, as I’ve already said, I don’t know a great deal these days.
Thank you for your kind words at my blog. I’m sorry that you innocently clicked on a link at Mrs. Spit’s and ended up at a story of a twin pregnancy that didn’t go quite according to plan. I hope that it didn’t upset you.
And I can only echo Sprogblogger, if you see a copy of Blueberry Girl snap it up. I bought it for my surviving daughter when she was discharged from hospital. It is a beautiful book.

8 08 2009
Karla

Congrats on the news of twins!

There sure are a bunch of us with twins, because I’m just a few days behind you with twins!

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