In Awe; Spice’s Reflux – HELP??!!; The Nanny/Daycare Debacle; Pumping At Work HELP!!

2 05 2010

Sugar made my life yesterday – I was talking to her and she let out a smile a mile wide – amazing, I cried – I have never seen or felt anything like this before, I am in awe of them, in awe of how lucky we are and just completely blissed out.  It does – it changes everything and I am a better person for this entire IF experience and the result of these two amazing children.

Spice is on zan.tac for his reflux – it seems to be better but he still wakes up from sleeping shrieking in pain every now and again – it sucks and I want to stab myself when he is in pain.  He gets all breast milk, we sit him up in his bouncer for 30 minutes after he eats and we burp him frequently.  We cannot elevate the mattress – believe it or not he rolls around and twists himself sideways at night…please let me know if you have any words of wisdom for me.  I hear they outgrow it by 6 or so months but I am so afraid it is affecting him psychologically – I feel so bad for him.

So – my nanny/daycare dilemma – we originally wanted a nanny – for all of the reasons everyone else wants a nanny – I interviewed a TON of women – old women, young women and everything in between.  We narrowed it down to one woman – I did a phone interview, an in person interview with just the two of us and then had her come to the house (after 5 of her 9 references called me back and raved about her) to meet the crew – DH, Sugar and Spice and my stepson.  DH really liked her – my stepson thought she was weird…we were going to offer her the position and literally – not ten minuets after she left, one of her references called me and basically said she was crazy…I will not go into details but it sounds like she has OCD pretty badly…we did not offer her the position.

I had been checking out daycares in our area just in case we did not find anyone we liked and it was pretty depressing.  The corporate/chain daycares that have accreditations out the wazoo were small, dirty and I would not leave my dogs in any of those places.  I went to a private, not for profit one just because my friend at work recommended it – I was not expecting to like it.  I almost pooed in my pants when I totally fell in love with it.  The building was built to be a daycare.  The infant room is floor to ceiling glass facing the grounds – which are beautiful and the lobby – the room was filled with mats, bouncers, swings and I know this sounds cheesy – love.  It is run by retired school teachers and nuns…I am the most anti-organized religion person I know – so trust me when I tell you it shocked me how much I loved this place.  And it is spotless.

We enrolled them there.  Some other factors that influenced our decision:

1) Taking care of infant twins is HARD WORK.  It is impossible for one person to do it all – I know – I try to every single day and have guilt that one gets held more than the other that day or that I do not hold them enough because there is so much else to do – cleaning bottles (they are getting all breast milk from pumping and an occasional nursing – now that I know we are doing daycare, I want them really comfortable on bottles so the transition goes smoothly) – cleaning up the house (I am a bit OCD myself about organization and wish I could let it go!).  The daycare has multiple people that work in the infant room – 2-3 for 8 infants – and more come in to help when needed – and they will be able to juggle these two better than one person.  They also hold them when they feed them – something I do not do when I feed them alone – I tandem feed in their bouncers on the couch – it is the most comfortable position I have found – I sit in the middle and put a bouncer on either side facing me at an angle…

2) I never got comfortable with the thought of one person – a person I really do not know – being in our home taking care of our children – all it takes is for that person to lose her temper in one second and with no one else around, I cringe at the possibilities.

3) We would be at the mercy of a nanny’s illnesses and vacations – and lots of nannies also start and then hijack you for more money!

That being said, I am not looking forward to waking them up and getting them – and all of the bottles and gear needed – out the door everyday.  I am sure we will work out a routine that will make it easier.

Finally – for you ladies that pump at work – can you share what works for you – bras, clothing, etc.????  I want to continue to give them breast milk exclusively for as long as humanly and sanely possible so I plan on pumping at work.  I work at a large, conservative la.w fi.rm and while they are outwardly supportive, I am sure I will get looks and grumbles when I lock my door and pump at least 3 times per day – but they can kiss my ass – giving Sugar and Spice breast milk trumps their bullshit.

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12 responses

2 05 2010
Carrie

Hello – I still pump twice a day at work (I can’t believe I still do this when my daughter is 13 mos. old, but she’s allergic to dairy, so until we figure how to outsmart that, breastmilk it is!). My favorite nursing bra, bar none, is the Bravado Body Silk. I will probably wear it long after I have no nursing need for it. I have four and have worn each at least once a week for over a year, and they all still feel like “body silk” despite being washed and dried at least 60 times. I just wearing regular tops, and I try to just wear dresses where the boobs can come out of the top, as opposed to lifting the whole dress up just to pump (I cringe to think about someone accidentally walking in on THAT!). Hope this helps!

2 05 2010
PJ

That first paragraph – so, so touching. 🙂

The daycare sounds very promising.

I will definitely come back and see what people say about pumping at work. I’m lucky if I get a chance to pee, let alone three times a day to pump. Although, aren’t there laws about that? Like… your employer has to make accomodations for you? I don’t know.

This site looks interesting. http://www.workandpump.com/

2 05 2010
Katie

I breastfed and pumped till my little one was 12 mos. I’m a PA for a busy surgical group and it is HARD to find the time. I’m sure with twins you will have to pump pretty often to keep up with the demand. Initially I was pumping every 2 1/2 hours for about 8 minutes to keep up…that lasted till 4- 6 mos and then solids started and thankfully his needs dropped…as well as my motivation. At the end I only pumped once a day and had to supplement a bit. But, it is by far the best thing you can do for your twins! Working for a bunch of male surgeons and finding those times to slip away was tough, (as well as the few BFing sexist jokes, but hey, all you can do is laugh and cuss them out under your breath…:-) but my midwife told me to think about it as the thing you do in your work day for them, which also helps the whole guilt thing with us working mamas.
I used a Medela pump in style hands free, but never got good enough at the hands free. My pumping room was literally a closet that didn’t lock well. I would set my chair in front of the door with my back pinning it just in case someone walked in….not ideal but hey, it worked! And there was a mini fridge in the room that I would set my cooler with my milk in.
Get into a schedule, and everyone will most likely be fine at work with it. And, if not, who the hell cares, you’re feeding twins!

2 05 2010
k

What blows my mind about being a parent is how much love there is. There are pictures from Sunflower’s ultrasound where he’s grinning. If I’m having a bad day I just look at it and I’m happy. Just thinking about that beautiful smile brings tears to my eyes right now. Your description of how your little girl’s grin reminds me of just the nature of being parents- its such an unconditional love. They just have to be, to exist and we give our hearts to them completely. It’s such an amazing thing, truly. I’m so glad you are enjoying motherhood. It’s so awesome to be here with you reading this, I still remember when you were in the middle of the first trimester!

No advice on the reflux, but I hope things work out very very soon!!

2 05 2010
mtnhighmama

I have WAY MORE INFORMATION than anyone wants to know about pumping. Email me and I will give you my phone number, and a run-down on what worked. I had it down to a science, since i exclusively pumped for about 9 months for the first surrobabe, and about 6 months for the twins. In fact, I have extra milk in my freezer that desperately needs a home. Maybe you need some?

adrienne, sweetestofthings@gmail.com

2 05 2010
Sue

I am not pumping too much but I have to second the Bravado bodysilk seamless nursing bras. They are the greatest things ever. Seriously…incredibly comfy and dont’ give you uniboob either. Good luck with all of the transitions! I know it is hard but you are doing great.

2 05 2010
Kate

That daycare sounds fabulous!
Not sure what to advise re pumping at work. I’d say get a hands-free pumping bra if you can, or use something like the Me.dela freestyle. And go for button-down shirts, maybe. I’m living in hoodies right now for nursing/pumping.
I’m planning to pump hands-free in the OR while giving anesthetics. Will just have to stuff all the equipment up my shirt!

2 05 2010
Twinmamma

Both of my twins have reflux. My daughter has severe reflux and we had to switch her from Zantac to prevacid. It’s been great! Also great that it’s one dose a day…it’s hard enough trying to care of 2 babies–remembering the meds 3x per day was crazy. Also, my babies sleep in “nap nanny”s. Best $130 we ever spent. I don’t think you are supposed to put them in cribs, but we do. They are huge, so we had to split the babies up when we started using them. Try it…trust me, your reflux baby will sleep so much better!

3 05 2010
Maria

Have you altered what you eat at all to help with Spice’s reflux? I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but dairy can be tough for them to tolerate. There is a whole list of foods that can aggravate reflux, and I’m sure you have a baby book (or two) that may list them out. Other than that, it sounds like you are doing all you can to help the little guy. The only thing that helped EJ was sensitive formula. I know your feelings on doing only breastfeeding, but maybe you could try a bottle or two just to see if that helps? I know the sounds of the screams in pain and it’s just gut-wrenching for a mom to hear.

3 05 2010
noswimmers

I’m gonna comment on the pumping-at-work thing:

It looks abso-freakin-lutely ridiculous, but I could NOT live without this thing…I can actually do stuff while I pump. LOVE it. I also pump several times a day and would get my sorry ass fired if I couldn’t work while doing it. In fact, I’m pumping with said ridiculous thing on right now.

http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Expression-Bustier-Hands-free-Pumping/dp/B000MFVOGW/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1272929325&sr=8-3

Good luck!!

3 05 2010
kedson23

I had heard about the nap nanny too- but we put Anna in her bouncer set inside the crib, and it works wonders for her. She’s now sleeping 9 pm til 6:30 am- even with reflux (although the prevacid also works wonders).

We’ve also been considering a nanny for our twins, but I just can’t decide- for many of the same reasons you listed.

4 05 2010
Erin

I also looked into nanny vs. daycare and ended up placing my daughter in an in-home daycare. She loves watching the other kids play and I think all the stimulation and activity is great for her. They also only have 8 children (with only 2 under 9 months at a time), with multiple adults so she gets plenty of time being carried and cared for while participating in “big kids” activities like music hour and story time. IT’s a great balance i think.

Regarding pumping and working… let me tell you… it’s the PITS! But it really is the best thing for our babies so I believe it’s worth it.

There are 2 things that you must have:
1. The hands free bustier that ‘no swimmers’ posted above. I pump and work at the same time. (I’m pumping now!) I also have an office so I can just shut the door, put a little sign on it (since it doesn’t lock) and do my thing. Since i have privacy I can wear what I want and don’t need to wear nursing bras during the day. I wear my normal bra, unhook it and hoist it up, and then put on the bustier. Easy and simple.

2. The second thing that saved me is a car charger pump adapter. I don’t know if you drive to work, but for me, keeping my supply up has been a major problem. Adding an extra pumping in the morning after I drop her off and on my way home has really helped. I get those needed extra ounces, and a pumping in when I’m just sitting in the car anyway. I get it all set up before I drive and then cover myself with one of those nursing covers so I don’t cause a pileup on the highway!

If you just aren’t getting enough oz during the week, try not to stress about it. If you need to add a bottle of formula 1x a day because you’re not making enough it’s OK!! Really. The pump just doesn’t work as effectively as your baby! I know all the lactation consultants and websites give you all these ways to increase your supply but adding in extra pumping at night, but as a working mommy I’m sorry, you need to stay sane and rested for your baby. I feel like it’s better for me and my baby if I get a stretch of sleep at night rather than set alarm and pump every 3 hours simply because I don’t want to give my baby a bottle of formula once in awhile. That for me, is just a touch over the top.

Lastly, try to pump after your baby feeds first thing in the morning. This is a time when you generally have more milk than your baby needs and it’s good to get it before your supply diminishes later in the day. Once I did this and added pumping on my way to work, it solved my supply issues. Then I pump 2 more times at work, and then on my way home.

Good luck and be patient with yourself. YOu can do it!!

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