One Sleep Until Beta; Crazy Dark HPTs

15 07 2009

Today was a fabulous day.  No spotting.  No bleeding.  It. was. marvelous.  This is my favorite part of this roller coaster.

I could not sleep, I was up at 4:45 this morning.  I had some nausea, the horrid metal taste was back in my mouth but now with sour milk.  My nips were in a bit of pain as well.  I have The Bloat – really some of the craziest bloat I have ever had and The Constipation.  This is TMI it feels like I am trying to lift a dod.ge ram just to get some rabbit poo out.  I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF THE SYMPTOMS.  It is making me feel like this is working, that this is a good, healthy pregnancy and that my uterus is not expelling it.  

And, did I mention the pee sticks?  My hpt was super dark last night, this morning and my hpts tonight???  The test line was showing up even before my diluted 7:45 pm pee went through the window tonight.  I have never seen anything like it – I have never, ever, ever had an hpt look like this.  And I bought a First Response Rapid Result – I have read that the sensitivity for that test is 100 but I also 50 – do you guys know which is true??  Peeonastick.com is out of action but 100 was reported in multiple searches and 50 a few times (okay – I think it is 50 according to peestick paradise (great name!)).  Crazy positive, crazy dark.  Crazy, crazy glee.  Super joy.  Amazing hope.  THIS. COULD. BE. IT.  Wow, just wow.  The bleeding still has me a bit freaked – but less so knowing that my little bean has continued to grow and I am hoping for a sick, crazy high beta tomorrow – I am pushing that bleeding into the back of my mind and letting the happiness and hope take me away. 

Top was from 10dpiui and 11dpivi, middle was from yesterday 11dpiui and 12dpivi morning and the bottom was from last night (11dpiui and 12dpivi):

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This is from this morning, 12dpiui and 13dpivi:

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This is from tonight 12dpiui and 13dpivi:

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And this is from tonight but it is the First Response Rapid Result – I am dying to know what the real sensitivity is on this test:

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And this is a picture of my hpts together from the last few days on the First Response Early Results (I hate how I smear the writing –  I need to learn to insert text or something but I hope that these are my last pee sticks ever):

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11dpivi and 10dpiui – HPT Update

13 07 2009

IMG_0639So, I peed on FRER at 6:30 this morning, and unlike yesterday morning, I could start seeing the line almost immediately.  The line is still pretty faint but unlike yesterday, I did not have to tilt the FRER to see it or squint or basically spend 10 minutes finding it, nor did I have to tilt it for the camera in order to see it on “film”.  It seems a bit more filled in too.  Yesterday’s FRER dried darker than it actually was but the one from this morning still definitely looks darker.  So.  I have broken the record for my past two pregnancies – no bleeding after a bfp and a darker hpt!!!  Yippee!!!  That being said, I am a bit more scared today.  I do not feel as nauseous when I woke up.  My mouth still tastes like a copper mine though.  I could use some reassurance about morning sickness coming and going…

The below hpts were from my first IUI in April – I had a bfp 10dpiui and it was darker that night but lighter on 11dpiui.  I think my current 10dpiui is much darker than the one below – my hcg on 10dpiui last time was 6.5.

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6dpIVI and 5dpiui; Questions for Internets

8 07 2009

Does this 2ww feel like it is dragging for anyone else?  Time is moving so slowly!!!  Madness ensues!

Yesterday morning I was driving to work, repeating the words my new RE said to me, “YOU WILL GET PREGNANT, YOU WILL STAY PREGNANT, YOU WILL HAVE A BABY” and I almost started crying from hope bursting from my heart.  Later that day I felt what is written below – I am on an emotional roller coaster and I want to get off.  I did some yoga Sunday and I have been walking – it does help and I need to do more of it.

Intellectually I know that it is too early to be feeling symptoms but I keep going back to my other pregnancies and looking for how I felt on these days.  It was much easier for me to not overanalyze after my 3dt IVFs – the 2ww was much shorter.  After my first natural IUI – the one where I got a bfp on 10dpo and miscarried a day or so later – I could feel my nips start to sting and I had twinges starting on CD5ish.  I was not on any progesterone that cycle so I cannot say it was the progesterone.  I am on progesterone this time and I believe the progesterone is doing its evil deeds.  Bloated?  Check.  BBs huge?  Check.  Twinges in uterus?  Check.  I want my nips to feel like they are on fire – that is a surefire sign for me.  They stung a little bit yesterday – but that means nothing – it is well and truly too early.   Again, I know it is really early to start symptom checking.  

My moods change from  minute to minute but mostly MY F’ED UP IF MIND IS TELLING ME THAT THIS DID NOT WORK, IT IS NEVER GOING TO WORK, I AM NEVER GOING TO GET AND STAY PREGNANT, I AM NEVER GOING TO HAVE A BABY.

Okay, so now that I got that out of my symptom, questions for you guys.  As a recap, I was on 100 mg clomid from days 5-9.  On CD 15 this was me:

LH 4.5, Prog 0.5, E2 698, Right ovary 5 follicles measuring 22, 21, 18, 17 and 14, Left ovary 1 follicle at 17.

So my questions are:

1) On CD 19, I was surging and my LH was 22.9 and my progesterone went up to 1.9.  Do you think it is possible that one of my follicles (probably the 22 or 21) had already burst, therefore the corpus luteum was releasing progesterone?

2) By how much do follicles grow per day on clomid?  I have read varying accounts but mostly 1-2 mm per day?  That would mean – if it was 1-2 mm per day – that my follies on day 19-20 (surge and suspected ovulation days) were  26-30, 25-29, 22-26, 21-25, 18-22 and 21-25.  I have naturally huge follicles – on the first IUI I got pregnant with a 28mm follicle.  So, I am hopeful that we had more than one to work with based on the answer to the question below.

3) My LH surge was much stronger than my first one – it was 12 the day before O on the cycle I got pregnant – so how many follicles do you think a natural surge would burst?

These are all of the things running through my mind – through the doom and gloom, through the positivity.





Crisco Tampon

6 07 2009

My father (the cook in our home) was a big fan of Crisco.   I think these progesterone suppositories are made with Crisco.  I just cannot believe that I am about to advocate for PIO.  My journey started with IVF and PIO – I thought it was monstrous, how huge those needles were, how thick the PIO was.  I then moved on to an IUI and used Crinone gel.  Forget about it – when you google it and read that women have to “get cleaned out” from it, it is enough to keep you off of the Crinone.  (BTW, I have a few left of the Crinone if anyone is a fan – they are yours for FREE – I will even mail them to you)  

Now, moving on to the progesterone suppositories, it is just like gently inserting some trans fatty Crisco tampon that has been refrigerated.  And then when they melt – good grief.  I sleep au natural and when it feels like there is warm Crisco between your legs, it is just WRONG.  I am truly distressed over what I have done/what has been done to me in the name of reproduction.  I may beg to use PIO again.  Oh, btw, today is 4dpIVI and 3dpIUI.  Sigh.





Clomid IUI Complete

3 07 2009

Ahh, sweet, sweet relief.  I feel like a million pounds have been lifted off of me.  The best part of today was that Mr. M went to the appointment with me – I love him so much, he is amazing.  

I think this was timed pretty perfectly.  My opk last evening was just as dark as the afternoon but fainter this morning – so I peaked sometime yesterday so ovulation would be 12-24 hours after the LH peak.  I estimate that will be no later than 9:00 pm tonight and there should be sperm waiting for the egg(s).  I have been feeling some ovulation pain mostly on my left but a little on the right – I was expecting more from righty since I had 5 mature follicles on that side.

Now, for the count:

Prewash 55 million

53% Motile

2+ progression

70% moving forward (they knew where they were going)

Total Motile Final:  14 Million

Not bad, not bad at all.  

I am going to count tomorrow as day 1 but I do already feel like I am in the 2ww.  I will break out the FRER on day 9 or 10.





:)

2 07 2009

What a crazy, crazy day (this CD 19):

6:30 am:  Wake up and pee on 5000th opk (clearblue digital) and it was negative.  Depression, despair and anger ensue.  But shit, I FEEL like I am going to ovulate, bbs hurt a little bit, CM was nice and juicy and some ovarian pain.  Put FMU in a container to take with me and test with a cheapo OPK with lines.  Yes, I am this obsessed and desperate.  Call nurse’s line to tell them I am on my way and that we need to talk, seriously, about a trigger and my fear that my lining is going to be shit by the time I ovulate.

7:45 am:  Pull into CVS parking lot, purchase CVS brand OPK, to-go container of FMU to pull out new OPK and test. Hmm, line looks dark but it just is not dark enough.  (Top one is from 7:45 this morning, bottom one is from later – details below!).  

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8:00 am:  Go to RE’s office, not on schedule for some reason, get blood drawn (LH and P4).  Dump FMU in bathroom.  

8:45 am:  At work, call nurse’s line and tell them that I was not on the schedule for some reason and to make sure that all dots are connected.

9:45 am:  At work, pee on new CVS OPK. Holy shit, I think I am surging.  Upswing on the mood roller coaster ensues.   Call nurse’s line, apologize profusely for being ultra high maintenance and tell them I think I am surging based on line on new OPK, which was with second morning urine.   (Bottom one is from 9:45 with second morning urine)

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9:45 am – 1:45 pm:  Anxiously await call from RE’s office.  Check phone 10000 times.

1:45 pm:  Nurse calls, yes, I am surging!  LH 22.9 and P4 1.8. Yay!!!   IUI scheduled for 8:00 am tomorrow.  

3:00 pm:  Leave work (YAY!!!  Taking tomorrow off too). 

3:15 pm:  Pee on clearblue digital opk – get a smiley face. 

IMG_0600Below is the strip from inside the clearblue easy digital.

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3:20:  Take shower.  

So, let the foregoing be a warning to my cheap side:  If I had not gone in for monitoring and spent the extra dough on the OPKs, I would have missed my surge or picked it up tomorrow morning and possibly had the IUI too late.  I peed on about 4-5 digital opks yesterday – nada.  Also, check out the difference between FMU and SMU above.  Incredible, just incredible.  So, even though my IUI is tomorrow, I am going to count my official 2ww starting today since I did my IVI and may catch an egg tonight.  Please let this work, please let this work.  

BTW, word on the street is that Clomid can really delay your O.  My other two natural cycles I surged on day 15 so it delayed it about 4 days.

I will update tomorrow after my IUI.  BTW, so many of us have gotten pregnant recently – here is my shout out to Sprogblogger again, CarolineNiki, Bella, Andrea  and Mo (Mo has a surprise natural pregnancy after many losses and many IVFs…amazing).  I hope this is it for you guys and I hope I am joining you soon.





Gah

30 06 2009

That is all I can say.  Bloodwork this morning revealed that my progesterone is .9 – which is good, obviously I have not o’d yet and my LH is 4.9 up a whopping .4 since Sunday.  Surge does not look like it is around the corner.

If I do not surge by Thursday morning, this cycle will be canceled.  This sucks.