One Sleep Until Beta; Crazy Dark HPTs

15 07 2009

Today was a fabulous day.  No spotting.  No bleeding.  It. was. marvelous.  This is my favorite part of this roller coaster.

I could not sleep, I was up at 4:45 this morning.  I had some nausea, the horrid metal taste was back in my mouth but now with sour milk.  My nips were in a bit of pain as well.  I have The Bloat – really some of the craziest bloat I have ever had and The Constipation.  This is TMI it feels like I am trying to lift a ram just to get some rabbit poo out.  I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF THE SYMPTOMS.  It is making me feel like this is working, that this is a good, healthy pregnancy and that my uterus is not expelling it.  

And, did I mention the pee sticks?  My hpt was super dark last night, this morning and my hpts tonight???  The test line was showing up even before my diluted 7:45 pm pee went through the window tonight.  I have never seen anything like it – I have never, ever, ever had an hpt look like this.  And I bought a First Response Rapid Result – I have read that the sensitivity for that test is 100 but I also 50 – do you guys know which is true?? is out of action but 100 was reported in multiple searches and 50 a few times (okay – I think it is 50 according to peestick paradise (great name!)).  Crazy positive, crazy dark.  Crazy, crazy glee.  Super joy.  Amazing hope.  THIS. COULD. BE. IT.  Wow, just wow.  The bleeding still has me a bit freaked – but less so knowing that my little bean has continued to grow and I am hoping for a sick, crazy high beta tomorrow – I am pushing that bleeding into the back of my mind and letting the happiness and hope take me away. 

Top was from 10dpiui and 11dpivi, middle was from yesterday 11dpiui and 12dpivi morning and the bottom was from last night (11dpiui and 12dpivi):



This is from this morning, 12dpiui and 13dpivi:


This is from tonight 12dpiui and 13dpivi:


And this is from tonight but it is the First Response Rapid Result – I am dying to know what the real sensitivity is on this test:



And this is a picture of my hpts together from the last few days on the First Response Early Results (I hate how I smear the writing –  I need to learn to insert text or something but I hope that these are my last pee sticks ever):




24 04 2009

I am posting a photo of my hpts just for reference.  I do not have much to say, pretty empty today.

These were from 10dpiui, morning was so, so faint – my hcg was 6.5 that morning, and 10dpiui at night and the morning of 11dpiui, which was even lighter than the morning before.  It was absolutely gone on 12dpiui and my hcg was back down to 2 that morning.

10dpiui BFP and Bright Red Blood

20 04 2009

Yes, that is right, BFP on a FRER – what my girls Niki and K like to call a VFP (very faint positive).  What a bittersweet morning.  I woke up at 3:00 took a FRER, bfn.  Woke back up at 7:00 and got a very, very faint line on FRER.  I always tested better with second morning urine.   So yay!!!  But I also had bright red blood this morning after I peed, enough for three or so swipes of the tissue.  This is how it ended every other time.  I have to get ready but I will post about my hcg and progesterone later.

I am scared.

Pictures of my HPTs

5 10 2008

These are my first hpts (all First Response) and were done on 8dp3dt, the first was at 7:00 am and the second was at 3:00 pm.

The above three (middle one is an Answer test, other two are First Response) were all done 9dp3dt at 5 am, 2:15 pm and 8:10 pm.
These two are from today, 10dp3dt and the digital was take at 5 am and the First Res.ponse was at 9 am. They lines look darker in person!

10dp3dt Longest. Weekend. Ever.

5 10 2008

The e.p.t. came up “Pregnant” this morning – yay, that means I have at least 40 units of hcg. One of my FRER was as almost dark as last night’s at 8:10 so that is good. Mine seem to be darker at night. There is a HUGE difference between my early FRER’s (i.e. 2 days ago at 8dp3dt) than last night’s and today’s!!!

I am mentally exhausted – which for me is a good thing – I will not be obsessing as much. I am having very, very small spots of pink, brown and red on the tp (at about 5 AM – nothing compared to the previous spotting, which was still small in amount. Let’s hope it is tapering off. Well, it is about 4:00 and no spotting AT ALL I think it has stopped!!! Please, please, please!!!

I feel nauseated, hungry, tired – but I do not feel like AF is coming anymore and by bbs are decidedly smaller than they have been.

I am not going to try and guess at what is happening – for now I am pregnant – and my beta tomorrow should be indicative of whether that may be viable or not. Then of course Wednesday’s beta will be the critical piece.

Obsessive Pee Stick Update

4 10 2008

I peed on an Ans.wer stick at 2:15 pm. A faint line showed up fairly quickly – I only say faint because I do not need to squint to see it, nor do I need to hold the stick at a 45 degree angle to see it – I just see it. That made me pretty happy since I have had a bunch of water, a huge cup of really weak tea, 16 ounces of water and milk with my cereal so far today.

So I am trying to hang out in bed but I had to get out, get away from Dr. Google – so I went to get a manicure and a polish change on my toes. I do not drink or smoke – but I love to get my nails done. I was looking forward to the peace and quit – my nail tech Jackie does not bother me with chit chat. There was a woman in one of the pedicure chairs and just as I settle in, she tells another woman that she is expecting and how surprised she was when she got pregnant since she and her husband were both doing really stressful residencies and how she is due in March. At first I was like, “oh crap, so much for zoning out on this pregnancy stuff” and then I was like, Lisa, you selfish cow. So, from that moment on I did not begrudge her and I sent her warm and positive mental vibes. I really hope that Mother Nature is nicer to her than she has been to me in the past. I mentally wished her a safe and healthy pregnancy and then I focused on which color to choose for my toes…haha, not really.

I then just sat back and thought about my experiences. During my oh-so-short first pregnancy I was blissfully happy and blissfully ignorant. It was my first IVF and we were only doing IVF because of DH, right? So it was so easy for me to get pregnant and I was NEVER so happy in my life as I was when I had my little Baby P, the poppy seed inside (that is how we referred to our little bean) of me. Miscarriage DID NOT EVEN CROSS MY MIND. I had no idea what a miscarriage was, I had no clue and I certainly did not think it would happen to me.

So hear I am in round 2 and I feel like I am bordering on another loss. I have not given this new life inside of me a name yet – I feel like a horrible mother already. It is just so painful – and then I wonder if all this mental angst is damaging my baby further and I feel even more like a total shit. I feel a bit weary and I guess I am trying to protect my heart and my psyche if my little bean does not make it.


4 10 2008

The rest of the day yesterday went well – no more spotting, my afternoon FRER was darker. My FRER was darker this morning than yesterday morning’s but not as dark as the one in the afternoon. I did have some pink spots on the toilet paper this morning – nothing to send me in full blown panic mode. I feel like AF is going to come any minute, I have weird gas, tons of rumblings and gurglings in my stomach, I am nauseaus, I get heartburn at night and I am getting some nice veins in my bb’s (although they feel smaller than they did two days ago). I am trying to stay really positive about this pregnancy.

TMI ALERT: I tried to eat breakfast – my favorite egg whites with american cheese on an english muffin – I ate about 1/2 of it, ran to the sink, gagged what I had in my mouth out and threw up the rest. That has to be good, right!!???