Whirlwind; Call with RE

10 12 2008

The last two days have been a crazy whirlwind. Thanks to all you ladies that posted the tag – you are some amazing women!

1) My call with my RE was today. She said she thinks my response this time was “aberrant” and that she is going to lower my lupron and increase my gonal f for next time. I asked her about the first time – my response was the same as this #3 and she could not give me a reason. She said that I look great on paper but that responses can vary. So not overly informative and really making me think we should skip another cycle there and go straight to CCRM – at this point I will incur sick amounts of debt to speed the process up. I am getting tired and so is Mr. M – plus he says he is getting too old (he will be 51 in March). Sigh. I did get all of my paperwork into CCRM and I am on the cancellation list to have a call sooner than my appointed time on Jan. 6. I told my RE that if I did cycle again, I could not do it until February or March due to #2 below. So now I let this “period” run its course and call them with my next one in January.

I saw this article on infertility and marriage and thought I would post it http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=14163246&GT1=32023

2) We ended up getting not one (with the same people who have been making our lives hell be negotiating an agreement for 2.5 months) but two offers on our house. They had to do a mini bidding war and the second people won! It was so cool and now I have to get an agreement together to buy the house that I want. Hopefully it does not fall through.

3) Provera update – MY CRAMPS ARE ALMOST NON-EXISTENT!!! All that fear and now it is just mild cramping. I have one more pill to take but you know what – I say screw you IVF#3, I am done with you – I am not going to take that last pill. I was such a b**** to my real estate agent a few days ago, I almost did not recognize myself.





Provera Fear

9 12 2008

I woke up slightly crampy this morning and I have some (sorry, tmi) brown spotting. It has begun and I am really scared. I get really bad cramps, nausea, vomiting, etc. with my normal periods and I am terrified that this Provera period will terrorize my days and nights. I took a bunch of motrin this morning and I am going to try and take it every 4-6 hours, although it usually does not help. I am really busy at work so I cannot take any time off.

Does anyone have any experiences with Provera they do not mind sharing?





Floating Away; I’ve Been Tagged

8 12 2008

Well, the Provera is beginning to do its evil deeds. I am so swollen – my eyes are puffy, my feet hurt, my love handles have tripled in size. No AF yet – I am assuming it will happen a day or two after my last pill, which is Thursday. I do not know if I can take it for four more days!!!! I feel like I am going to float away – like I am a giant, fat parade float.

April has tagged me – I have never been tagged to list seven random thoughts about myself, so here goes:

Rules:1. Link to the person who tagged you.2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about you.3. Tag 7 random people at the end, and include links to their blogs.

1) I hate clutter – my house looks like we either just moved in or we are moving out – I do not have anything hanging on the walls, no end tables, no knick-knacks.

2) I am lazy when it comes to doing my hair – I basically shower, mousse it and dry it on low for about 5 minutes – I could probably look better but I just think it is a waste of time.

3) I love getting manicures.

4) I read really, really fast – I read about 30 books in a 3-4 week period when I was trying to not get horribly depressed after loss #2.

5) My high school was K-12 and I graduated with 76 people.

6) I worked full time and went to law school full time – I barely maintained personal hygiene I was so busy and tired – people from law school barely recognize me.

7) I love tweezing, picking and grooming Mr. M – he hates it and barely lets me do it.

Thanks April – that was fun! So I tag: Nancy, Niki, Emily, Maria, Kirke, Mo and Clio. Truly, I tag all of the blogs I follow these women have given me so much support – I really could not be doing as well as I am without their sharing, their stories and their inspiration – thank you all.

These women have been supportive of me – but no pressure to do this – my sister Betsy (she reads this) will be mad because I NEVER do complete these sorts of lists that she sends me…well, that is not true, I think I did one.





Positive Thinking or Drug Induced Haze?

3 12 2008

I feel really good – I am really positive about the future, I am excited to try again, I am looking forward to my phone consult with my RE next Wednesday, I am enjoying my job – which I just got home from about ten minutes ago – and I am just happy. I am not going to read too much into it but, like a lot of people I know, I started to question whether it was genuine or a drug induced haze? I have been on hormones from every end of the spectrum in the last few weeks. Frankly, I just do not care why I am so happy, I am going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I am not really feeling any other side effects from the Provera – my left ovary was singing the blues earlier today – that is about it.

I also have a phone consult scheduled with CCRM for January 6 – they sent me the paperwork to fill out – good grief – I think it would be easier to take and interpret my own DNA sample.

I hope all of you ladies out there are finding peace and happiness tonight. Thanks for the support.





IVF#3 is a Bust

2 12 2008

Well, my instincts yesterday were correct. I responded to the drugs exactly the way I did for the first IVF, which produced three eggs. My e2 only went up to 392 from 277, my lining was 10 and I had the following follicles: Left – 12mm, 10mm and 6 less than 10mm; Right – 19mm, 18mm, 16mm, 13mm and 5 less than 10mm.

My nurse, Nurse D, said that I was stimming faster than they anticipated and that they tried to call Mr. M’s doctor to do the PESA this week so they could do the retrieval this week. Mr. M’s doc was out of town and they wanted me to stay on my meds and come in for an ultrasound and blood work on Thursday to see if the smaller ones would catch up, even though we would “lose” the bigger ones. This was on recommendations from the other doctor at my RE’s office, and I feel that she jacked up my first cycle while my RE was out. I asked Nurse D to check and see if it was possible that they could get at least nine eggs like they did for IVF#2 and that if not, I thought it was better to cancel this cycle and regroup. My follicles have never all contained an egg – last time I had eleven large follicles and nine eggs. Nurse D checked with my RE, who was not in the office but was tracked down, and she did not think this cycle would produce an appropriate amount of eggs and she 100% agreed that we should cancel the cycle and “regroup”. I felt this way about IVF#1 but I listened to their advice and did not speak up or advocate for myself. I am so relieved that I did not do the same thing this time. I told Nurse D that I would like the RE to really think about a different protocol and she said that they already discussed that. They do not have an answer as to why I responded so well the second time and overstimmed for #1 and #3 – they said it just happens but maybe they will come up with a solution. In the meantime, I am going to submit my information to CCRM and try to have a phone consult with them.

So I have to take Provera for ten days and wait for the mother of all periods. My RE is supposed to get back to me next week with their plan – retrievals start again the week of January 18. I am so, so grateful that this did not turn into a great big mess where I would beat myself up for not canceling. I am going to try and lose some weight – Nurse D said that I did not need to for IVF purposes – but I told her I needed to for clothes-fitting purposes! I also asked her about the caffeine and she said that all of the literature says that one cup a day is more than acceptable but that if I could cut it out completely, I should. So I will try to do that as well. On to IVF#4 sometime in January – maybe here, maybe at CCRM if I do not feel my RE is confident in a revised protocol.