Ho Hum 8dpiui#2

16 05 2009

That is how I feel tonight.  I got back from Philly last night and had to work for most of the day today.  (BTW, getting over giving myself PIO – did it myself in the bathroom of the Philly airport Thursday night – I ended up dropping my draw needle and it rolled under the stall into where another woman was…worst fear…I just reached my hand over and grabbed it and was like sorry – I was scared she was going to call security about a junkie with a scary long needle in the bathroom).  Keeping busy with work is definitely keeping me busy and my mind off of this cycle.  That being said, yesterday when I was rushing to get out of my suit and into my jeans while the cab was waiting for me, I went to the bathroom and I either scratched myself when I wiped (TMI, I know and my nails have gotten too long) or it was a tiny bit of reddish pink blood from my girly bits.  I wrote it off to scratching myself although I did not have time to investigate.  This morning at around 9ish I had very, very tiny, itty, bitty bits of pink spotting, literally as if the tip of the finest pen dropped the tiniest little speck of ink on the tp.  My hopes immediately went up – that is what kind of implantation spotting I want – if in fact it is implantation spotting.  None of this watery pink bright red shit – NO MORE!!!!  I wish I was not on the PIO in some ways – I felt symptoms much more clearly off of it, however, I am still having some twitching and cramping and my lower back has a pinchy feeling at times.  My nips felt a little tingly a few times today.  Sigh…we’ll see – it could all be the PIO. But you know I am hoping, hoping, hoping that it was implantation spotting – the good kind – and my little bean is burying itself in my lining.  Is that too much to ask?


8DPIUI -Implantation Spotting or Impending Doom – Questions

18 04 2009

Okay, at about 6:00 pm tonight, after I went to the bathroom, I saw a little bit of red mixed with clear mucous when I wiped, then I wiped some more and there was some pink with clear mucous, then it was gone.  In my mind, I am thinking red is bad – that is what I was told by my IVF nurse back in the day…It was enough to cover the tp but not enough to soak through…not sure how to describe it.  I had a tiny bit of brown later. I am about to google the f*&^ out of it even though I already have – I had “implantation spotting” for both of my bfps and I had some spotting(I am going to go back and look at my post) for my bfn – together with some milder forms of the symptoms I am feeling now.  I have no proof of this but I think that one may have tried to implant last time and got started but failed to continue for some reason.  The other two, my bfps, they did implant, but I lost them later, the second one faster than the first.  I never, ever have spotting at this time in my natural cycles…I am trying not to hit the panic button and chalk this up to a loss when I have not even been proven to be pregnant yet (I took hpts yesterday and today with FMU – too embarrassed to post about how early I was testing here but I was feeling all of these “symptoms”). 

My other symptoms include:

1. Nausea – now, this morning and a little yesterday morning;

2. Tingly, almost burning nipples and sore bbs;

3. Poking, almost itchy feeling in my uterus, at times, slight cramping like AF is coming;  I did not have cramps during or before the spotting that I can remember…I did have more of a backache feeling after the spotting…; and

4. Gas.  

Usually, blood, together with #3 and #4 above have meant bad things for me.  Like impending loss, period, etc.  

I called and left a message with my clinic to see if they can test my progesterone tomorrow – is there anything else I should have them check? Estrogen?

On to consult with Dr. Google…

7dp3dt of Sweetness – Spotting and a False Positive

19 03 2009

I left work early – I had bright, red spotting at around 1:00ish.  I have gurglings in my stomach again with some sharp, stabbing cramping – like AF is going to show up any minute. This is how I felt last time and I ended up getting a bfp on 8dp3dt after I started spotting on 6dp3dt.  But, as we all know, the endings of that and my first story – with spotting beginning after my bfp but before my beta – are not good.  I am almost tempted not to pee on a stick, that way if it is another early loss, I really do not want to know about it but I certainly do not want to find out from my RE’s office, so yes, loyal peeing women, I will continue to pee.   I cannot believe I have continued to volunteer for this shit.  It is like ground.hog’s day the movie and I want it to stop.

I am trying not to hit the panic button – I know, it is only 10dpo technically and implantation can happen until day 12dpo (or so I am told), lots of women have implantation spotting or other spotting that is red and go on to have a heathy pregnancy (or so I have heard) but SHIT I was really hoping this time would be different.  I feel like my body wants to have a big, crazy period.

I also got a false very, very, very faint positive on a Clear Blue today – it is because I was double-fisting it with a FRER and there was not enough pee on it – the control line never came up.  I then looked at peeonastick.com and they said that Clear Blue gets a TON of false positives and not to use them –  I am only sharing this so that other avid peeing people like myself are forewarned.  The FRER was negative.  I cannot even invest in that right now.

I am getting crushed at work so I have to work while I am home – I am going to try and do it in bed.

The sweet things in my life today are (I am hanging on to them for dear life):

1) Mr. M – hurts so badly for me and wishes he could take it all away.  I told him he could if he would just go out and buy me a baby already…he declined.

2) My cat Nando is right here in bed with me while I type.

3) My new Ka.te Spa.de sunglasses from Cost.co – hid my ugly cry face on the way home.

4) My bed is very comfy and I bought really nice sheets for it – I love being in it.

5) My sister Betsy – I talked to her on the phone today and for once she did not lecture me once. Love you Betsy!!!!

6) All of you – I feel better already.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Obssessive Spot Checking Update

4 10 2008

Well, it is 11:30 am and the stronger spotting is back. It was pink at first and had some bright red spots too – no cramping right now but I was mildly last night, I took some Tylenol and it went away…the spotting has never hit my panties – just small amounts on the tp.

I had another little spot of pink with a tiny bit of red at 8:10 pm. I am going to test with an e.p.t certainty tomorrow am – it is supposed to read hcg levels starting at 40 – if it was at 25 yesterday, it should be over 40 tomorrow.

I had tiny, itty bitty amounts of pink and brown spotting at about 9:30 pm and 11:00 pm.


4 10 2008

The rest of the day yesterday went well – no more spotting, my afternoon FRER was darker. My FRER was darker this morning than yesterday morning’s but not as dark as the one in the afternoon. I did have some pink spots on the toilet paper this morning – nothing to send me in full blown panic mode. I feel like AF is going to come any minute, I have weird gas, tons of rumblings and gurglings in my stomach, I am nauseaus, I get heartburn at night and I am getting some nice veins in my bb’s (although they feel smaller than they did two days ago). I am trying to stay really positive about this pregnancy.

TMI ALERT: I tried to eat breakfast – my favorite egg whites with american cheese on an english muffin – I ate about 1/2 of it, ran to the sink, gagged what I had in my mouth out and threw up the rest. That has to be good, right!!???

Bleeding/Spotting??? and Bed Rest

3 10 2008

So after my spotting this morning my RE’s office said I could go to the camp retreat if I sat all day – I called the director and she said no problem. Well on the way out there I was feeling some very mild cramping. I went to the bathroom and there was reddish-orange-pink blood – I am not even sure if it constituted spotting? Well, it freaked me out enough I told the director that I would not be able to stay – they probably think I am crazy, oh well – and I just got home and talked to my RE’s office again. They said to just stay off of my feet, no lifting, no stress, no steps and that sometimes they see this all throughout first trimester pregnancies. I am trying to remain hopeful that this is going to be more than a chemical. My beta is not until Monday.

Freaked Out a Bit

3 10 2008

I cannot believe this – an hour later and I am spotting – pink with maybe a light, bright red. This is exactly what happened last time. I am a little freaked out but turning that into anger at my RE’s clinic – they never answer the phone, I am always leaving messages and waiting for them to call me back. I know there is not much anyone can do at this point but what if the spotting and potential end of this pregnancy – before it really begins – is due to low progesterone or something else they can test for? Oh well – I am off to camp – I will be stopping for some more pee sticks!